hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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