Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
