it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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