I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We just shotgunned beers for America
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
