Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
