Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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