If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
