your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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