he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
