yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
