so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
