The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
