May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
