when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
