I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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