found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
