i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
