I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
