you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
