So drunk, too bad you don't want this
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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