She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
