I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
