im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
