At least make sure they are 18
Why
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
