hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
