Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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