I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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