Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Randomize
