OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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