I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
