My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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