mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
