i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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