im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
