I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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