I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
my nose is crying tears of wow.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
