I cockslap morals
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
