So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
