he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
