I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just pee around me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
