Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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