Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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