I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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