People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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