HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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