dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
