We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
