Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
this will be a night to untag.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
