I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
