I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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